free alexander Khandi

free alexander Khandi

An interesting post.

TO ANNALEE:

You wrote, "If being here in America is so very hard and distasteful...
It's talk like this, that breeds problems.", this was in reference to a posting by Robin, it seems to me that the "talk like this" is actually thinking the the words of the Declaration of Independence and the words in the Constitution are meaningful and idealistic and is something that America should at least try for.

Don't you think?

Sincerely, Thomas Paul Moses Baum.

Annalee - it is clear from your comments that Jews are not really free even here in the free United States. There is always some bigot showing prejudice against them for being Jewish. Am not saying this is limited to Jews - lots of prejudice against other groups here. The point is that Israel is probably the only place where one would not be subject to prejudice for being Jewish (maybe for being a certain sect of Jew, or for being Muslim or Christian). But you show me a Muslim country where you can be Jewish, Christian or any other religion without losing some or all of your rights. Incidentally, I am a pessimistic (formerly hopeful) agnostic who really has no personal use for any religion.
Lachaim!

Annalee - it is clear from your comments that Jews are not really free even here in the free United States. There is always some bigot showing prejudice against them for being Jewish. Am not saying this is limited to Jews - lots of prejudice against other groups here. The point is that Israel is probably the only place where one would not be subject to prejudice for being Jewish (maybe for being a certain sect of Jew, or for being Muslim or Christian). But you show me a Muslim country where you can be Jewish, Christian or any other religion without losing some or all of your rights. Incidentally, I am a pessimistic (formerly hopeful) agnostic who really has no personal use for any religion.
Lachaim!

Vie,
**When she got married, she and her husband adopted a new surname that they felt described their aspirations better than either of their birth names.**

What a lovely idea! Perhaps once my daughter is grown, we'll look into that.

Part of the reason that I refused to take his name was that when I married my ex, I did take his name. My daughter was 9 at the time, and I did not know until after he and I divorced him how much it had bothered her that she had neither her dad's name nor mine (my ex was not her dad). So, I made it clear that I considered it more inportant that she have my name for the rest of her growing-up years than that I have his. He agreed, which is why he considered changing his name to mine.

Annalee,

First question: If the United States of America is indeed the land of the free, then why should Jews be required to surrender their heritage and give up the Torah that G-d gave to us in order to `fit in' according to your definition of `American'? Why can't one be Jewish and American just as one can be Christian and American? The two are not mutually exclusive.

Second question: If the United States of America is indeed the home of the brave, then why should Jews be criticized for standing up and defending their values, traditions, and beliefs that the Constitution grants us the right to uphold?

Why did your ancestors immigrate to these shores? Chances are, it was for freedom to live as they wanted and to pursue happiness. My ancestors came here for the same reason.

It's a free country. Jews here have the right to assimilate, and they also have the right to remain uniquely Jewish, a heritage of thousands of years. Why are Jews who choose the latter any less `American' than the former?

Here in the United States, we have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Life: "It [Torah] is a tree of life for those who grasp it, and its supporters are praiseworthy" (Proverbs 3:18).
Liberty: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances" (First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution).
Happiness: "The orders of the L-RD are upright, gladdening the heart..." (Psalms 19:9)

For a Jew to live freely as a Jew in the United States is as American as you can get!

Have always been proud and grateful of my WASPiness, NOT THE LEAST reason being I don't have to whine and complain about everyone else all the time.

Nor imply how superior one is. Can just try to be a decent person and good citizen. And go on with life. And get along in the world for centuries.
Such a relief. Though I'm not allowed to mention my pride in being what I am.
Which is to say, it's the same old thing angry whine above, will eventulally have the same old
response, (anti semitism grows world wide)
and that others are mightily sick of it.
History apparently has no value at all.

The post by "Robin" above is breathtaking.

Does she not know that people other than Jews, even those born on that very land, do not have full, or even many rights there?
Otherwise, the posts above, so besotted with being Jewish, and never mentioning being American...but using Americans advantages, it's rights...why, one cannot understand, aren't they in Israel?
Jews are very welcome to immigrate one reads.
If being here in America is so very hard and distasteful...
It's talk like this, that breeds problems.

The post by "Robin" above is breathtaking.

Does she not know that people other than Jews, even those born on that very land, do not have full, or even many rights there?
Otherwise, the posts above, so besotted with being Jewish, and never mentioning being American...but using Americans advantages, it's rights...why, one cannot understand, aren't they in Israel?
Jews are very welcome to immigrate one reads.
If being here in America is so very hard and distasteful...
It's talk like this, that breeds problems.

Alex,

When Alexander the Great and his army moved through Eretz Yisrael, he absorbed the Jewish people peacefully, and even honored the Kohen Gadol (Jewish High Priest). As a tribute to his benevolence, Alexander became a Jewish name and is still used as a Jewish name to this day, so don't think that your English name is completely un-Jewish! I would also assume that your parents gave you a Jewish name (the name you would use in shul when called to the Torah), a name that is uniquely yours and holy. You are a Jew, as Jewish as Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) and King David themselves! The Torah was given on Mount Sinai just so it could be put into your hands, as it has been in the hands of our people for thousands of years.

I wish you continued success on your studies of Judaism and all the best!

Kol hakavod!

Who is Hanna Milhous? She of course is the mother of Richard Milhous Nixon. Nixon said in his farewell to the White House staff on August 9, 1974 that no books would ever be written about her.

A few years ago I was doing a Google search on Holocaust databases and found a family named Milhous listed among those killed during the 20th century's version of an old-fashioned pogrom.

Of course, Richard M. Nixon never belonged, but there are thousands of books written about people with names like Milhous.

Mike
Tribalism, yes, although most Americans answer to several interlocking tribes. That doesn't mean lockstep agreement within the clan; read the op-ed pages of Israeli (or Irish!) newspapers if you want proof.
Robin
Out here there are native Americans with Spanish names, Spaniards with Scottish names, and all kinds of gradations in between. And no one has a clue as to which "Anglos" are also Jews. If anything it should make people more careful about their casual ethnic chauvinisms -- but no such luck.

I have the problem that I am Jewish with a German (Yiddish) name but do not "look or act Jewish". Over the years I have heard many negative comments about Jews made by people who thought I was a good Christian boy of Germanic heritage. It is the presence of this pervasive undercurrent that reminds me why many Jews feel the need for a safe and strong Israel. Who would not want to live in a place where they were judged on the basis of individual character, rather than on prejudice based on whether they look or pray a particular way, lack a foreskin, or their ancestors purportedly "killed" another Jew named Jesus (could have sworn it was the Romans did that Mel).

First of all, NancyAnn, a shul is a synagogue, not an incorrect way to spell "school". So Alex was simply stating that he enjoys spending his Friday nights going to synagogue. And he was stating that a person's last name is often a way to identify that person's culture. However, one would likely not identify him with Judaism, given his surname.

In college I had a friend with an Asian surname who said that she would likely not give it up when she married because she would not want people to not know that she wasn't Chinese when speaking with her, if they didn't already know her. This is the same situation.

I found NancyAnne's comments small-minded.

To end my participation in this evening's discussion of ethnic identity I'd like to share this anecdote from years past. It helps to know that in the 1950s Robert Briscoe, a Jew, was elected Lord Mayor of Dublin. (That's Dublin, not Lublin.)

So, someone approached Yogi Berra, catcher for the New York Yankees, and told him that a Jew had just been elected Lord Mayor of the very Catholic city of Dublin. On hearing this news Yogi is reported to have exclaimed: "That just goes to show you what a great country this is - only in America!"

Viejta ... "Big fan" of Senator Joe McCarthy? ...No. Would I make an effort to find anything at all redeeming in that guy wearing an Irish name? My ancestors demand nothing less. Is this tribalism unknown where you come from?

WOW! YA YA!

Mike
So should I assume that you would have been a big fan of Sen. Joe McCarthy?

Lepi
A childhood friend of mine (Unitarian, if that matters) had her own solution: When she got married, she and her husband adopted a new surname that they felt described their aspirations better than either of their birth names. They wanted to present a unified front without favoring one heritage over the other....
I'm a little too much of a traditionalist for that, and the man I married is even more so...

Alex,

Just this moment I was reading Paul Kane's column here in the Post and I was really struck by the overt Jewishness of the names mentioned in his piece.

Apparently Senators Diane Feinstein and Charles Schumer, who are both Jewish, will break ranks with their liberal Democratic colleagues and support Bush's nomination of Michael Mukasey, also Jewish, to be Attorney General. Kane, who's ethnic background is unknown to me, then mentions the American Heritage Institute's Norman Ornstein, presumably also Jewish, who believes that Feinstein may become the next Senator Joe Lieberman, an Orthodox Jew.

I think it's appropriate to consider that all of the above mentioned persons are justly proud of their ethnic heritage. But I also imagine that for some of them - if I can be so bold as to say so - blood is thicker than water. Mukasey may be a wonderfully qualified nominee, but I really expect there's more to Feinstein's and Schumer's support - even if only subconsciously - than just Mukasey's legal background, just as Senator Edward Kennedy's support for all things Irish is based on more than the merits of any particular case.

As crazy as someone could unjustly make me sound for saying so, I would not support Senator Joe Lieberman for President because I believe that for him blood is thicker than water and he cannot distinguish being pro-Jewish from being pro-Israel. Mitt Romney's Mormon issues pale in comparison, Utah not currently being one of the world's hot spots.

It's heartening to read that you wear both your Jewishness and your Remington name proudly, favoring neither over the other, and treasuring the value of both. All the best.

A proudly hyphenated Irish-American

Alex, be a good boy,having not ruined eyesight through masturbation,unlike most boys.He having come out of the closet,not confessing gay,or a liking to dress in womens clothing,but he simply confessing his love for humanity,actions, words, that should be rewarded respected,not ridiculed.

Why can't Jews, intermarried or not, just settle in and be human beings? Or great Americans, or whatever is the thing.
Others intermarry all the time. And juggle within their families, or whatever, and go on.
But Jews we have to hear about constantly. About going to their schul "schools are for others?". Pointing out their great difference. And then complaining and suing when someone else notes a difference.
To what end?

Apparently Remmington has failed to notice the abundance of Jews who've changed their names for whatever reason than to hide their identity or whatever?
And changed their profiles in other ways, too..almost a rite of passage for young women in
places...
If not hiding, what? Particulrly since we were treated to a story this week in the Post's "partner" slate, about how Jews IQ is much higher than anyone elses....the Chinese and othr Asians notwithstanding...
So what is Remmington trying to say here?

Apparently Remmington has failed to notice the abundance of Jews who've changed their names for whatever reason than to hide their identity or whatever?
And changed their profiles in other ways, too..almost a rite of passage for young women in
places...
If not hiding, what? Particulrly since we were treated to a story this week in the Post's "partner" slate, about how Jews IQ is much higher than anyone elses....the Chinese and othr Asians notwithstanding...
So what is Remmington trying to say here?

ALEX...Welcome to genetic pooling,it rich in its diversity, all past lifes having set the course for the present.Fallen not rather be re-potted with room to grow.It be you due congratulations. ALEX...no kneeling before God you having earned the right to stand before GOD as being an equal. ALEX.each breath be your link with the Almighty, hence,if need to be reassured,then the Almighty an breath away. ...ENJOY.......xxx X

Ryan,

When my husband and I married, I did not take his last name. I told him that if it was critical to him that we have the same last name, then he could take mine. He actually considered it until he realized just how much hassle would be involved in changing all his records, ID's, etc. He asked me if it was that much of a headache for women when we did it, and I assured him that it was.He just shook his head and said, "Damn! Y'all must really love us." We have friends who hyphenated their lastnames and BOTH of them changed their names to the new combined version.

I am completely unable to parse Jacob's random capitalization and inexcusable spelling, but I enjoyed your article. Identifying myself with my name was definitely a big thing when I was getting married, since I had to decide if I really wanted to bestow my double name someone else, when others would probably assume one of the names were hers. In the end that's what happened, because she wanted to take my name and I didn't want to give up either of mine, mostly because the logical choice would have been my father's name, when if I had to pick one I certainly feel much more connected to my mother's parents than my father's.

Alex,

Kudos to you for reconizing the fact that our names serve to identify us not only to others, but also to ourselves.

My last name identiifes me quite clearly and unmistakably as a descendant of Norman refugees to the United States via Nova Scotia (i.e. Acadian/"Cajun"). When I introduce myself, most people recognize that immediately.

My screen-name, which is also my chosen spirit name, identifies me more personally, and frequently elicits questions from others as to its origins.

It reminds me of what T.S. Eliot wrote in "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" - that every cat has three names - the name that human beings call him/her by, the name other cats call him/her by, and the name known only to the cat him/herself. I think the same sort of idea goes for people, even if we don't always recognize it on a conscious level.

A very nice essay, Alex. I enjoyed it.

A very nice essay, Alex. I enjoyed it.

Alex
Don't take Jacob too much to heart, I think his ID process is traveling the opposite direction from yours.

I enjoyed your column. I think this process of identification is a common journey, for Americans at least. I am the product of a mainline Protestant upbringing but in my case our Anglicized last name came from the Jewish side (on the other hand my mom is a distant Remington cousin). So I can say "My great-grandfather's name was ..." and make my point. Then again so can you, unless your mother's family was nameless.
In some ways it is liberating to know even as a child that people of good will come from varied faiths and backgrounds. There are lots of us now days who are products of both the DAR and the shtetl. As I've gotten older and lived in different places I have encountered folks who never met anyone who was not raised to believe and worship exactly as they do. Sometimes they scare me.

And don't forget that the names many of us consider Jewish are really German: the Rosens, Steins, Felds and Mandels are just as likely to be from prominent Midwestern Catholic clans. And Shapiro and Guzman are Spanish names...and the Espinozas were Jewish.