Faith in laughter

By Alan Beck
physician, author

It was over 30 years ago that I got to tell my folks, "Hey look, I've got a license to practice medicine." Now it is evident to me that there are many licenses out there, including licenses to print money, blow smoke, and steal the public blind.

For example, there has been a procession of dignitaries parading around recently telling us that they had no idea derivatives were dangerous, that they couldn't see the housing bubble coming, and on and on. The cake goes to the former chairman of the Federal Reserve who stated that he was only 30 percent wrong. Many other professionals would like that kind of margin of safety but when some of the 30 percent includes being oblivious to huge financial tsunamis, one can only wonder what has gone wrong all around us.

Our government recently stated that the 2090-page health care reform package was utterly necessary to prevent us from going bankrupt. Unfortunately, when you add up all the off line liabilities that our government has, we've been bankrupt for some time and adhering to the traditional Grecian formula of super stimulating everything will soon allow us to outshine the PIIGS. I am told that 85% of the nation will pay for 100% of the nations' health care needs and that premiums will not go up, we will be saving money long term, the standard of care will be the same, and AIDS, herpes, rheumatism, and terminal flatus will be legislated out of existence.

Our health care system has needed change for some time. But a hasty circus advertised as dialogue by the very forces that brought about most health care system dysfunction may not be the right medicine. As with the financial debacle we've had, the very people who brought it on now are fixing it.

So having no opinion about this or anything around me, I resurrected a previously failed health care paradigm, the health maintenance concept that was supposed to be the cure-all for all that ailed us in the past. Long term it has not achieved much except vastly enriching the founding fathers of the movement. I took the concept and applied it to religion, the last frontier for business. Essentially, I created a for-profit religion using over the top humor to allow the concept to go down. I treated all religions equally so as not to allow any one religion to think it was singled out for my dark satire. Religions have come and gone over thousands of years; they have brought us good along side of a lot of hate, destruction, and dysfunction. The new super-religion conforms to current reality TV and utilizes broadband to transmit its prayers and messages. There is more entertainment, Religious Idol contests, and a God Swap for all practical purposes.

Along the way, I have given homage to our glorious executive suites and saluted their quest for the greedy grail. The characters and concepts take care of themselves and fate intercedes in the end. I hope that fate and prayer do allow us to navigate out of our multiple self-induced quandaries. Laughing at the sheer insanity of some of them is therapeutic. To encourage a reasonable outcome for this, I am donating at least ten percent of the book's profits to improving health care.

Alan Beck, M.D., is author of "A Faithful Proposal" (IGI Publishing).

By Alan Beck |  May 3, 2010; 8:50 AM ET Save & Share:                 
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