God's plan for my peace

By Tonya Muse

I have heard many people of faith say that God has a plan for your life, but I never really understood what that meant until now.

Ten years ago I thought my life was perfect. I had a good job, a secure and happy family life and so much joy and peace in my life. Then, in 2008, all of that changed. I separated from my husband. I lost my job. My world turned upside down. Suddenly, I was a single parent with three children and no job. I didn't know what to do. I spent most days just crying and feeling sorry for myself. Not since the death of my mother had I experienced so much pain in my life.

Then one day my brother called. I couldn't talk to him because I was crying so much. I told him I'd call him back, and he yelled, "Don't you dare hang up that phone. Stop crying. Stop feeling sorry for yourself." I told him I doubted everything in my life, and he said, "Have confidence in yourself, your ability as a person, a woman and mother." I realized I needed to do something fast because I couldn't let my children down. I don't think I have cried since that day.

I am a Christian and I have always gone to church, but I'm not sure I really lived according to God's word. After sulking for so long I went to my pastor to ask for guidance. He said, "Stay in front of the Lord, pray, speak to Him, listen to gospel music and be patient." I didn't quite understand what he meant by that but I took his advice. Instead of just saying my prayers, I started having conversations with the Lord. I started to say my daily mantra, "This too shall pass." I started meditating on Bible verses that reinforced that I can do all things with God, that He is my strength and that God wants me to prosper, have a future and hope. It seemed that everything I read or heard led me back to the same thing: God has a plan for me, be patient and it will be revealed in time. I realized that I had to put all my trust in God and let go of my fears and doubts. Once I did that, the picture started to get clearer for me.

I joined a support group for divorced women at church. I couldn't get through this alone. I had so many feelings inside. I felt like a failure, I felt like there was such a stigma to being divorced. Sure, plenty of people get divorced, but I didn't ever think I'd be one of them.

I had to put my job search into high gear. I sent out hundreds of resumes and got hundreds of rejections, but instead of crying I told myself, that job just wasn't meant for me, or that's not where God wants me to be. I might not have been able to pay bills when they were due, but instead of crying, I prayed and along came money to pay a bill - friends and family always seemed to appear at the right time. I would always feel this calmness or confidence within knowing that this was God working on my behalf.

I started to network and reach out to others. I wanted to see what other people were doing to survive during these bad economic times. I focused on my skills - what did I do well? How could I help others? I marketed those skills and was able to pick up work as an independent contractor, which helped.

I was determined not to be defeated by the economy, by a failed marriage, by any one. I used to sit back, close my eyes and envision that I was walking off a cliff, and that I had total faith that God was going to be there to catch me and not let me fall. Any time I was faced with an obstacle, I just thought about that cliff.

There are many things that can seep into our lives that are beyond our control, whether they are personal, social or economical, but we can trust that God has a plan for us and it's a plan that is good, productive and meaningful. I know I will succeed because God has a purpose for my life. That life might be different from what I had before, or what I had in mind, but it is the life that He has planned for me. Knowing this makes all the difference because now that inner peace has come back.

Tonya Muse has over 20 years of non-profit management experience and now works for the Washington Post's Universal News Desk and News Operations.

By Tonya Muse |  July 9, 2010; 11:26 AM ET Save & Share:                 
Previous: Nuclear swords to God's plowshares | Next: Disappointment and hope after Cairo

Posted by: Gemini57 | July 14, 2010 12:01 PM
Report Offensive Comment

The comments to this entry are closed.