What Compassion Really Means
The first response to tragedy is compassion—a word that literally means “to suffer with” or “to suffer alongside.” Frankly, a hand on the shoulder, a tight embrace, a look of empathy, or sitting quietly and sensitively alongside a grieving person means much more than attempts to explain the inexplicable or efforts to identify with the individual using expressions such as “I understand.”
We don’t understand. Every situation is unique as is every person negotiating the hurt of a tragic situation. Supportive presence is far more important than any words.
Vast diversity within Christianity prohibits a response to this question that is the Christian answer to it. At best my words represent one perspective among many.
When it is time for words, caution is advisable. Individuals in grief are vulnerable to an extent that is imaginable and easily susceptible to a distorted understanding of profound truths. Immediate tragedy often is the crucible in which one’s theology of life is formed.
Typically my verbal comments to persons in grief are responses to specific questions. I make no effort to impose on a person more than they want to know or can process in difficult moments. However, the basics of the perspective on tragedy that I comment to others include:
God desires our good. The God whose nature is revealed in Jesus of Nazareth does not impose tragedies on people. The divine will is for health, wholeness, and abundant life.
Tragedies occur because people make bad decisions or act out of illness. To affirm that every person is created in the image of God is to acknowledge every person’s right to make decisions—bad ones and good ones. We are not mindless and heartless puppets manipulated by the strings of a divine marionette but persons of free will who make choices inherent in which are consequences.
I find no more personal consolation or theological credibility in blaming tragedies on the devil as on God. Yes, evil exists in the world. But, free people have choices to make regarding good and evil. Personal responsibility is far more important in this discussion than a dualistically conceived “anti-God figure”—by whatever name—who rivals the deity in power. Of course, mental illness or emotional sickness can skew reasoning and a commitment to values that otherwise would aid a person in making a decision of the good of others rather than one that results in tragedy.
Finally, Christianity moves beyond comfort through words and actions of compassion to address the causes of different tragedies and to explore the possibility of minimizing, if not eliminating, them. Even as we grieve with the families and friends of loved ones whose lives needlessly have been cut short at Virginia Tech, we long for and, indeed, pray for a mood in our nation that makes hate unacceptable and violence an intolerable offense.
Amid the vast religious diversity in our land, all religions offer comfort to the grieving and speak, as if with one voice, about the need to be done forever with the thought that killing settles anything.
By
Welton Gaddy
|
April 18, 2007; 9:18 AM ET
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Posted by: Stephen | April 24, 2007 6:04 PM
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God, being in control of the universe, can prevent suffering whenever He sees fit, but wherever free will exists, consequences of choice must also exist. We refuse to remember that we are the ones who betrayed God, not vice versa. We are the ones who listened to the lies of the evil one in the Garden of Eden. We chose to mistrust the heart of God. In breaking the one command He gave us, we set in motion a life of breaking His commands.
Being able to discipline oneself for the benefit of others is the very essence of maturity. Shantideva said, “All the joy the world contains, Has come through wishing happiness for others. All the misery the world contains, Has come through wanting pleasure for oneself (at the expense of others).” How we spend our time shapes who we are, and how we assemble the persons we are is cause for social concern. What examples are adults, entrusted with the awesome responsibility for their care, to the rapidly maturing next generation who will impact our society positively or negatively depending on to what we expose them. We have experienced the natural progression of an unguarded nation towards neglect, corruption and the loss of idealism. When awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, the Dalai Lama said in his lecture, “…For if we each selfishly pursue only what we believe to be in our own interest, without caring about the needs of others, we end up harming not only others but also ourselves…” One does not have far to look to witness the chaos and devastation caused in our society due to our turning away as a nation from our Judeo-Christian roots. Our culture is rotting. Just listen to the lyrics of popular songs, pick up a book or magazine, view a movie or television show. Pay attention to the violence permeating our communities, the disrespect and lack of courtesy displayed by all, judicial tyranny, and the neglect of and abuse directed at women. (Could this be a direct result of pornography? Duh!) Then consider that perhaps we are allowing the wrong input in our lives and the lives of those who have been entrusted to our care. After all, we are raising our next generation of leaders!!! Words like diversity, pluralism and tolerance have anesthetized us to the reality of good and evil. Tolerance is the cultivation of an attitude of indifference to things we see happening around us. In the name of peace, we tolerate evil. In the name of tolerance, we accept sin and call it freedom of speech or freedom of sexual persuasion. Albert Einstein once said, “The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” We dare not stand up for what we believe for fear of being labeled intolerant. Tolerance sees your sin and embraces it. Grace sees your sin and hands you over to Christ's healing embrace.
God cannot make us choose to abide with Him. For now, God, tormented, waits upon us through one holocaust after another. satan’s best deception is its general success in concealing its own reality from the human mind. Most people live in such naivete regarding evil. What will it take for us to take evil seriously? satan lashes out on the earth like a madman, setting people against each other all over the globe. it devastates many lives through starvation, alcoholism, substance abuse and pornography. satan is at work in the holocaust of violent, disrespecting aborting of babies; narcissism; materialism; elitism; and the self-absorption we wallow in when we do not ensure our next generation is brought up in a culture with enriching, wholesome values. Failing to label evil evil misleads us about the world in which we live and our necessity for God’s grace, the only real answer and hope for any of us. If you are not living in touch with God, it is easy to blame Him or pass judgment on Him. We experience suffering and temptation because mankind chose to follow satan. Lurking in the heart of man, evil will erupt when it is permitted to act unimpeded.
Entrusted with the awesome responsibility of my children’s care, I am concerned about how their generation is being raised, to what they are being exposed, and the examples they have in their lives. Are they being enriched in mind, spirit and character? They all need highly esteemed mentors to guide them along the path to liberty. If we don’t stand for something, we will fall for anything. “The humblest citizen of all the land, when clad in the armor of a righteous cause, is stronger than all the hosts of Error,” - William Jennings Bryan. Hopefully, seeking our own pleasure is not the measure of our lives. We are called to be intolerant in love. Why not live as Philippians 4:8 instructs us to: Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. God is reaching out to rescue us … God made nature to sing His praises, to declare His glory and to love Him. He made humans with the ability to choose. He could have ordered our obedience; instead, he calls for our heart.
Posted by: Virginia Bain Allen | April 21, 2007 11:24 AM
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Posted by: in leads mlm | April 21, 2007 8:34 AM
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Reg,
God condemns you for your insolent obfuscation of the query at hand, and for cavilling his holy Hoytitude.
Posted by: Anonymous | April 18, 2007 10:33 PM
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Reg,
"How does your faith tradition explain (and respond to) senseless tragedies such as the Virginia Tech shootings."
I think a tie between the message and the topic would be beneficial.
Posted by: Andrea | April 18, 2007 4:05 PM
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to: Norrie Hoyt
If you look at the question posed to the panelists, they were not asked to comment directly on the Virginia Tech tragedy. they were asked "how does your faith tradition explain (and respond to) senseless tragedies."
So, in answer to your question, yes, I think you did miss something.
Posted by: REG | April 18, 2007 4:02 PM
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Rev. Gaddy and fellow posters,
I appreciate Rev. Gaddy's comments as much more compassionate than much of what is being said. I see the VT community living out this compassion in refusing to demonize Cho or the people who were not able to stop his actions--although, Mr Mark, continuing news reports show that he had several interventions and was voluntarily committed at one point. People tried.
The aspect of faith that keeps coming to the front of my mind is Jesus' command to love your enemies. So often, we don't even try to do this. I imagine God's point of view in loving every person involved in this tragedy--the murdered students, Cho, Cho's parents, the ones who were unable to stop him, and I see why God's love and God's suffering has to be larger than anything we can imagine.
I agree, Ms Ann, I wonder why God allows such deep, deep suffering--if I were God, I wouldn't allow so much pain--I'd intervene more often to make things "right." But I'm not God, and I still love God.
In terms of evil, these actions of a mentally unstable college student whose violent fantasies spilled over into real life and caused the deaths of 33 people, seem less evil to me than the actions of the Bush administration in cooly, deliberately starting a useless war in which thousands have died for no apparent reason.
Posted by: Rengland | April 18, 2007 3:51 PM
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Rev. Mr. Gaddy,
I mean no disrespect, but what did you just write, if anything, that makes any sense in relation to the VT shootings?
I'm reminded of the story about two Vermont farmers attending a political debate in their town hall.
A candidate is holding forth at the podium:
Farmer 1: "What's he talking about?"
Farmer 2: "He don't say."
Did I miss something?
Regards.
Posted by: Norrie Hoyt | April 18, 2007 12:40 PM
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Of course we all grieve for and with the victims of this tragedy. That's the natural - and, in fact, the easy - thing to do.
The greater questions lie with the person who did the shooting. Saying that this person and his acts were a manifestation of evil is an all-too-easy and regrettably silly way to look at things. As more information becomes available, it is clear that the shooter was exhibiting classic signs of being mentally unstable, including writings that contained extreme violence and that may have been a cry for help. He had been identified by faculty as a person who had mental and social problems and needed counseling, a person who was isolated and felt picked upon. A faculty member suggested directly to him that he seek counseling and even notified school authorities of the potential problem. The shooter refused such help while the school and other authorities shrugged their shoulders and said there wasn't much they could do.
I wonder why the shooter refused help? Could it be because seeking psychiatric help carries a stigma in our country, and that a person who felt picked on may have believed that seeking professional mental help would have only made his situation worse? If he felt picked upon, were there specific incidents (hazing, campus bullies, etc) that legitimately fed his fears and isolation?
While it's entirely possible that elements of campus society may have fed the shooter's insecurities and were a part of the cocktail that led directly to this tragedy, there is no question that our hope of avoiding such tragedies in the future lies with understanding more about the shooter, not his victims. While we're busy mourning the victims, we should pause to consider that this tragedy could well have been avoided had the shooter received the help that was urged upon him by that faculty member...and to ponder what it will take for our country to take such alarms seriously, something the authorities involoved in this case failed to do.
Posted by: Mr Mark | April 18, 2007 12:36 PM
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REV. GADDY tells us: God desires our good. The God whose nature is revealed in Jesus of Nazareth does not impose tragedies on people. The divine will is for health, wholeness, and abundant life.
ANN O. replies: Yes, God does desire our good. But He does impose tragedies on people every time an innocent child dies. Sweeping that mystery under the theological rug does no service to God's message : that suffering is a condition of ultimate life, of unending happiness, of our ultimate good which is meeting Him face to face.
Posted by: Ann O. | April 18, 2007 12:08 PM
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