The Best Host

"If one feeds the hungry, one should give the best and the sweetest of one's table."
-- Maimonides

Sometimes, in giving to others, we give the least of what we have rather than the best. I was once speaking to a woman who worked in a second-hand store for a charity. She said, "It's amazing what some people give. Ripped clothes, broken toys. Do they think poor people have no dignity?" Maybe in the mind of the giver, a shirt with a hole is better than no shirt at all, but in the mind of the receiver, the clothes show disdain and insensitivity.

Maimonides reflects on what we should be thinking when we give something to others in his laws about what is prohibited to offer as a sacrifice on an altar in the ancient days of Jerusalem. What's the connection? In Jewish tradition, our table is regarded as an altar. When we make Kiddush on wine and eat challah on Shabbat, we are mimicking sacrifices that took place long ago. When we have guests and give them the best of what we have, we are sanctifying our homes and creating, what I call, table-holiness.

In fact, when we look at the very first sacrifice, that of Cain's in Genesis 4, we are told that he gave at the end of his harvest unlike Abel who gave the first of his flocks. Cain's sacrifice was rejected not because he gave something that was worth less than what Abel gave, but because he gave the worst of what he could offer when God deserves the best.

The idea of giving the best of what we have to others, according to Maimonides, extends to several areas, including our quote above:

"...everything which is done for the sake of the good God should be the finest and the best. If one builds a house of prayer, it should be finer than his private dwelling...If he clothes the naked, he should give him the finest of his garments. If he dedicates something to God, he ought to give the best of his possessions."

We give the best of what we have not only because others deserve it but because it reflects on our own sense of personal excellence. Giving the best of what you have requires generosity and discipline. It is too easy to give less than the best. It's a habit that we have to teach our children at a very young age because it's counter-cultural. In society today, we are often seduced into saving the best for ourselves. We call this entitlement. We often say, "I deserve the best" rather than "I must give others the best."

Next Shabbat, many synagogues will read the Torah portion of Va-yera. In it, Abraham lifts his eyes at his tent door and sees three strangers. He runs to them and asks for the privilege of serving them. He rushes to Sarah to ask her to make cakes of the finest flour and then personally gets them meat - a meal fit for royalty that is offered to people he never met. It happens that these three gentlemen are actually angels sent to deliver the message that Sarah will finally give birth. But what's striking about this text is that before they even give the news, they are treated to the kind of angelic hospitality that makes us understand why Abraham and Sarah were the first Jews and our first leaders.

In honor of their leadership and hospitality, we at the Partnership for Jewish Life and Learning declare next Shabbat, Shabbat Orkhim, the Shabbat for Jewish Hospitality. To help prepare you, we have created a hospitality tool box with recommendations for synagogues and hosts, quick and inexpensive recipes and advice for hosting, and Jewish source sheets with texts about being a good host and being a good guest (go to our homepage www.pjll.org). In honor of Abraham and Sarah, we ask that next Shabbat you invite guests over who you have never had before so that they get a chance to experience your angelic hospitality, the way that you give the best of yourself to relative strangers. We've also asked all our area congregations - over 90 - to participate so that across this region, no matter what denomination or flavor, we all join in this sacred mitzvah in some way. If you're reading this in another state or country, spread the word.

We are privileged to live at a time of great abundance, no matter what economic forecasts tell us. That abundance is much more psychological than material. Maimonides offers us good advice. Be abundant in your generosity. Don't save the best for yourself. Offer it to God. Offer it to friends. Sacrifice it to strangers. Make your table holy by giving the best of what you have to someone else.

Shabbat Shalom

By Erica Brown  |  October 29, 2009; 2:15 PM ET Save & Share:                 
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