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Health care, counseling for all in the valley of the shadow of death
We as Americans have a hard time with death. We can become obsessed with the tantalizing possibility of long life, while giving little thought to what a good death means. As a clergyperson and a teacher of religious leaders, I have had the privilege and the pain of providing my share of end-of-life counseling - but nothing prepares you for the times when the ones you love most stand on the threshold of death. When we faced it with my father, it was his time to die. When we faced it with my mother, she was granted a new lease on life. In both cases, end-of-life counseling was key. Take it from this seminary president and daughter who has loved her parents more than life itself. End-of-life counseling is a must for Obama's health care package.
My father spent the last period of his life with Alzheimer's. His death was one of my family's sweetest and most powerful experiences and yet we were almost robbed of it, based on what a health care profession presumed was in my father's best interest despite the fact that my father, a PhD'd professor, had made his wishes crystal clear in his living will. If we had not intervened at just the right moment, he would have been injected with powerful antibiotics and hooked up to life support he did not want. The nurse was so angry with our decision that he threw the intravenous bag into the trash can in disgust. But because our family was clear and unified about end of life issues, my father was able to experience the death he had chosen and prepared for, breathing his last in the palliative care unit surrounded by loved ones singing hymns, laughing and crying over family stories, and reciting his favorite Bible passages that he could no longer remember himself. For my father it was the right way to die and we could embrace his choice, thanks to considerable end-of-life counseling.
Several years later my mother, then in her mid-eighties, was faced with almost certain death without quadruple by-pass surgery. In the course of end-of-life counseling, she framed this serious surgery as a justice issue and wondered whether major medical resources should be used on someone of her age. One of the greatest lovers of life, yet not afraid of death, she was willing to give up resources so that a younger person might live. In partnership with her doctor, we decided together to get the surgery, and my mother has enjoyed five vigorous years since then and counting. For her, it was a time to live and now she thanks us for the hard conversations we had that granted us this rich chapter of life together.
As a minister who has been through this with countless families and as a daughter in my own, beginning-of-life and end-of-life issues are some of the most difficult for people to grapple with. They often occur when emotions are running high and families are at their worst in terms of thinking clearly or making decisions together. That is why counseling about these issues is a critical component of health care reform both for individuals and families.
The Bible does not offer conclusive answers about decisions related to illness, healing and death. Sometimes people are "raised from the dead" as with Lazarus. Sometimes it seems that one's healing is correlated with one's faith--"Rise and walk, your faith has made you well." This correlation can be dangerous. It can mislead us to think that illness or death is linked to lack of faith and that we somehow have ultimate control.
What does seem to be a common theme is that God's presence can make the difference between a good death and a bad one, which is why so many Christians in hospital rooms recite the 23rd Psalm: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me." What our faith tells us is that, whether we live or whether we die, God is present with us. In the time I have spent in the valley of the shadow of death, I have felt God's presence most critically in the context of and thanks to good end-of-life counseling.
In some moments, it's the right time to die. In others, it's the right time to extend life. There are no easy answers. What I know for sure is that if ever there is a time when individuals and families need wise counsel, it is times like these. Everyone deserves end-of-life counseling. It is time for our nation to provide it.
By
Katharine Henderson
|
November 6, 2009; 8:39 AM ET
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Posted by: jdtwine | November 6, 2009 4:37 PM
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I thought the frank observation that dealing with death is a part of a holistic life of faith was compelling, and cannot be said often enough. I think it adds another dimension to the whole conversation about what it means to be a person of faith. That dying ‘well’ is a part of it – but that it is a part that we need the support of our institutions in order to embrace – is right on. The question of ‘equipping the saints’ is at the heart of the post for me. It’s not about ‘bucking up’ in the face of end of life issues, but of drawing on and being helped by our leaders to draw on the resources of our traditions in this that I liked.
Posted by: 4corners | November 6, 2009 10:44 AM
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I loved this blog! (Eyes damp.) The stories bring you to the heart of a universal experience, to your own story in the context of our culture that does not know how to share dying and death as well as some others. The closeness of God in combination with good counseling is both empowering and liberating. Beautifully written with a clear directive towards policy change.
Posted by: RomeNewYork | November 6, 2009 10:41 AM
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It takes something away from your excellent point to say, "End of life counseling is a must for Obama's health care package" because too many thoughtful citizens dont want his reform which builds on a going-broke, one-size-fits-all Medicare. End of life counseling should be a part of ANY health care reform package. However, the key in our American way is giving people a choice in the benefits they want covered in their personal policy, though I think every insurance provider should offer the counseling because it is in the spiritual interest of the consumer and the economic interest of the provider.