Scary and Sacred Are Not Far Apart
Not some religions, but all religions have much to say about sex. Why? Because sex is scary, combining as it does procreative and pleasure mysteries.
Sacred and scary have much to do with each other. Rudolf Otto says the holy is "the mysterium tremendum et fascinance," the mystery that is "tremendous" and "fascinating." Mysteries can be alluring and they can be threatening.
Some religions think sex is so alluring that it takes the place of God in peoples' lives. They are probably more right than not. Others used to think that and have changed. Others celebrate the sexual impulse and expression exuberantly--but usually in contexts. Thus most religions make much of commitment and fidelity, and they like to regard sex in the context of both.
Catholicism and most Protestant denominations used to be rather crabby about sex; today even Vatican experts say that (married couples) should really enjoy conjugal relations.
Valentine, after all, was a saint--though I am sure he would have no idea how he got connected with romance.
By
Martin Marty
|
February 20, 2007; 9:29 AM ET
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Posted by: Gnar | June 1, 2007 9:53 PM
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Absolute ok
Keeping the lines of communication to your kids or anyones kids should be yes frank and open discussion. With mine I started with an eight year old who would between 1 and 1/2 years from then begin puberty. I started with helping them male and female in understanding what will happen to their budding bodies, physically and emotionally. Talking frankly about the pulls and desires that these would bring them. The relationship that Husband and wife have with each other, their love that they show to each other should not be hidden from the kids. Kissing, hugging and stuff. Ya the boy at 8 will say eww! now but when he is twelve it gets to looking rather interesting. Marital unity in the house helps a child to understand the ultimate purpose behind those changed in their bodies and the desires that come with them, it forms a framework. That even a child can understand. And even desire in their future. Living in your union with your mate is itself instructtion of the proper use of our procreative and loving relationship with the opposit sex. Example is the best teacher. If the example is poor so will be the result with the pupil. No matter how much talking you do with your kids if your the sort of person that is loving and loyal to your mate or just the opposit frivolice and adulteruous it will tell them much more then your words. What starts out well ends well what starts out poor usually has no chance of being better then the starting point.
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Posted by: Bill | April 19, 2007 4:02 AM
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You stress an interesting point, families should try to follow the lead of their religious, and spiritual guides. I still think that frank and open talk about safe sex as a "fail safe" is a mature, and reasonable precaution to take. Talking to your children honestly here can help keep the channels of communication open much longer than they might have been otherwise. I THINK THE IMPORTANT THING TO KEEP AN EYE ON THE PARENTS OF CHILDREN'S FRIENDS, OR MORE SPECIFICALLY THE PARENTS OF THE CHILDREN WITH WHOM YOUR CHILD NOW CONSIDERS TO BE FRIENDS. THIS TOO WILL ONLY WORK FOR SO LONG, BUT IT MAY BUY ENOUGH TIME TO GET A MESSAGE ACROSS.
Posted by: Absolute_0-K | February 20, 2007 10:49 PM
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OK, I'LL ASK:
"What DO men want?
WHY do they insist on controlling a female's actions/body/etc?
WHERE is that persistent focus on the SPERM? (YEAH....HOW ABOUT THOSE MILLIONS OF LIVES LOST TO THE SOCK?)
WHO decided that the male fixation with the "deed" should be RELIGIOUS?
HOW in the world do we stop this ridiculous charade?
Posted by: mommadona | February 20, 2007 4:50 PM
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Professor Marty,
"today even Vatican experts say that (married couples) should really enjoy conjugal relations."
Yes, but don't use contraceptives.
Posted by: Norrie Hoyt | February 20, 2007 2:26 PM
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"Not some religions, but all religions.." professor? Why is sex such a big deal with religions? Scared and scary? No doubt for folks like most reverand Haggard but anything as natural as sex can't be all that scary.
A theory put fourth by the press, (Newsweek?) during the late 1960s said religion held people by their genitiles, squeezing as necessary to keep them in line. Now that's scary.
Probably not as scary as http://www.hoax-buster.org/sex that says the improper use of sex can lead to extinction. If God's word being proved bogus isn't scary enough, ponder extinction. Of course over population can lead "to serving mankind" another terror that challenges the terror of hell itself.
The fate worse than death is to die without leaving a copy of one's self behind to carry on. Don't you think that's really scary?
Posted by: BGone | February 20, 2007 1:03 PM
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