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Forgiveness is Powerful
Forgiveness is godly. Forgiveness is a virtue. Forgiveness is holiness. Forgiveness is powerful. Forgiveness is peace.
Ancient Hindu scripture Bhagavad-Gita says, “Develop purity, forgiveness, vigor, patience, a good will, and avoid pride—these are the riches of the person who is born for heaven."
By
Rajan Zed
|
November 14, 2007; 4:41 AM ET
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Posted by: Anonymous | December 16, 2007 9:54 AM
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Dear Mr. Zed,
What ever you are writing about "forgiveness", do you practice in your personal life or just stealing the writings from ancient books?
Posted by: Benaam | November 26, 2007 11:55 AM
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" David:
"I guess as a hindu if you forget to forgive someone you can always try it out in the next life until you get it right. How convenient...."
I wouldn't dismiss this idea so readily, David.
Frankly, the idea that one's attachments (including negative ones) may hold one up or obligate one in the next life (as well as this one) makes a fine incentive to set things square in this one... maybe a better one than the idea that it'll be vindicated by eternal reward or punishment in some totally-different realm as arbited by what you believed, rather than did.
Posted by: Paganplace | November 18, 2007 3:18 PM
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Oops! Forgot to put my name on my paper!
Posted by: Danny B. | November 17, 2007 11:37 AM
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Joet,
Good point, I hadn't seen it quite that way! When I was finally able to get that situation settled and wasn't under stressful threats, I realized that THEY had seroius problems, not me, and that made me sad for them because they are too blind to see it. I guess that is a way of forgiving...just as long as they stay at arm's lenght! = )
Viejita,
Hola...good to see you again. You are always insightful in your posts.
Posted by: Anonymous | November 17, 2007 11:36 AM
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JoeT
You're right. It's sort of like what some people go through when they write their regrets on a piece of paper and burn it, or ceremonially dispose of some other symbol of a painful event. I'm afraid many nowadays are raised with a black-and-white theology that intertwines the concepts of forgiveness and justice. Forgiveness belongs to the victim, and does not preclude justice for the offender. We don't do it to make the one who wronged us feel better; that is beside the point.
Posted by: Viejita del oeste | November 17, 2007 2:21 AM
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Danny: you give yourself too little credit. if you no longer hate the creep, and in fact pity him, you have forgiven him. communicating that to him is another subject altogether, and entirely optional (and perfectly reasonably conditioned as you describe). your dad may have needed to communicate it for his own benefit, not the broker's, as a way of demonstrating to himself that he had let go of the hate.
Posted by: JoeT | November 16, 2007 4:36 PM
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At the risk of sounding wishy-washy, I'd like to amend my post.
I have not forgiven the "friend" who wronged me, but I do not hate them and definitely pity them.
If they sincerely asked for forgiveness I would consider it. However, I heard through the grapevine that they pulled exactly the same thing with someone else. So I would have to know that they were asking for forgiveness all around to be able to grant it.
Posted by: Danny B. | November 16, 2007 12:46 PM
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Janice posts: "I believe that it is entirely possible to move on - and very happily - without forgiveness."
While I can agree with this, it is not always true. I can also see where granting forgiveness could be necessary to be able to move on.
In the 80's, as an inexperienced investor, my father lost $30K in a Limited Partnership. My parents were aware of the risk of investing, but were not honestly presented with the fact of just how risky this particular investmet could be. My parents were not alone in this, they joined a class action suit against the brokerage, but never recouped any of the loss.
I was a teenager at the time, and while I did not notice any real impact on the family finances (that came later when I was ready for college), the emotional toll it took on my father was immense, and oppressive. He could not sleeep, he was obsessed, he could not think of anything except this broker who "screwed" him for a comission. I can remember this going on for a very long time, only because of the time and energy my parents had to put into dealing with it before all was said and done.
My point is this...
One morning my father got up, left the house, and upon return informed my mother that he had gone to the office of the broker and told him directly, "I forgive you". I was only told this recently by my mother.
The broker (who has since been taken care of by karma, or poetic justice, however you want to see it) must have thought he was absolutely insane. However, according to my mother, this was when my father was finally able to start to let it go, to accept the fact that the money was gone, and that he could not allow all of it to destroy him.
On the other hand, I had a person whom I considered to be a very good friend become angry with me over a personal matter and go hard and heavy after my job over it. To this day I cannot forgive them, though I have moved on. I never actually did lose my job, but the fact still remains that I find it unforgiveable to go after someone's "bread and butter" over an unrelated personal matter...EVER! It was an ORDEAL at the time that caused me a lot of stress, but I have survived it with my career intact. I am fine with not forgiving them, and found no reason to extend the forgiveness.
Ultimately, I think it is like everything else: There are no absolutes.
Posted by: Danny B. | November 16, 2007 12:21 PM
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Even elementary practices of meditation bear out these truths. Before one can control the thoughts of their mind, there is a long insightful and even painful process of watching thoughts cross your mind in a detached manor. Observing this self talk is where we really get to learn about what drives us as people.
Posted by: Mad Love | November 16, 2007 9:45 AM
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I guess as a hindu if you forget to forgive someone you can always try it out in the next life until you get it right. How convenient....
Posted by: David | November 15, 2007 3:57 PM
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Amongst all our vices, most serious and detrimental are JEALOUS and HATRED. These two negative qualities, have the capacity to ruin one's life who harbours them.
Jealous brings Hate, that in turn brings anger
I personally think we must avoid these above Negative qualities by any cost. Thanks to Reverend Jed for bringing such illuminating subjects.
Posted by: Rationalist | November 15, 2007 3:22 PM
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Janice (and Tim): I think the confusion stems from a misunderstanding of what forgiveness is. If you truly move on, you really have forgiven in the sense that you refuse to harbor hatred and judgment against the offender. that's all forgiveness is. it's not about accepting apologies or any other interpersonal reconciliation, which is strictly a social issue and entirely optional.
Posted by: JoeT | November 15, 2007 1:58 PM
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Janice,
What you have said is very interesting. To me it is all dependent on the fine line between forgiveness and realization. I don't know if this is where you are coming from but consider this idea. Someone is a bad person and you know this from the fact that they have hurt you. You can accept the fact that they are a bad person. This is forgiveness. However, you knowledge of their character means that they will no longer harm you. So on the one hand you have discounted this evil person (forgiven them) but on the other hand you move forward. That is what I call forgive, forget, and move on. Is this where you are coming from?
Posted by: Tim | November 14, 2007 7:34 PM
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Very well articulated. To the questioner of Why? I would ask why not? What benefit to not forgiving?
Posted by: Julian | November 14, 2007 6:05 PM
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Quote -- Without forgiving those who have “wronged” “you” then “you” are the one who suffers. In other words, since the psychological effects of not forgiving someone are to cause the non-forgiving person to suffer over past events or phenomena, true forgiveness frees the one forgiving from suffering due to memories of the past. --
I disagree. I believe that it is entirely possible to move on - and very happily - without forgiveness.
Whether it is a quote from a religious text, or whomever, I don't accept the "value" of forgiveness as a truth in and of itself.
So again, I ask, "why?"
Posted by: Janice | November 14, 2007 4:58 PM
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Rajan Zed, very nice. Thank you. Direct and to the point.
Posted by: Mad Love | November 14, 2007 1:10 PM
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Forgiveness is a central theme for anyone who is attempting to live a mindful life where every moment is free from selfishness and, instead, full of peace and joy. Without forgiving those who have “wronged” “you” then “you” are the one who suffers. In other words, since the psychological effects of not forgiving someone are to cause the non-forgiving person to suffer over past events or phenomena, true forgiveness frees the one forgiving from suffering due to memories of the past. This psychological “freedom from the past” through forgiveness allows us to live completely in “this” moment with a deep understanding that your part of the “kingdom of heaven” is always in the NOW. If you do not forgive, you cannot truly live in this moment which is where all things exists.
By teaching us to even forgive our enemies, wasn’t Jesus Christ showing us the way to truly live in the moment and not let past transgressions enter our psychological perceptions and, thereby, mask the moment. We all hate the actions of tyrants, terrorists, murderers, etc. but when we realize that the person behind the actions acted selfishly to achieve their “sinful” act, it is the victim who suffers further by “reliving” the past by not truly forgiving the act. To repeat part of an earlier post:
If one looks deeply into their existence, one can determine that humans are not separate entities from the rest of the universe. In other words, we as physical beings are intimately connected to other “things” in the universe. We cannot survive without water, oxygen, vegetables, fruit, etc. and, therefore, we are a “part” of the “whole” Our ability to distinguish ourselves from other humans or animals or plants is an evolutionary strategy for self survival. But when you combine our intellectual abilities of conceptualization with our self awareness, we “create” a complex selfish entity. Within our thoughts over our lifetimes, we create an entity of self that attempts to protect itself from others and attach itself to people and to things. In Christian terminology this selfishness is defined as sin. Selfish acts and thoughts always cause the selfish person to suffer. Also, since in true reality we are part of all things, when we are selfless in thoughts and acts, we are one with “god“. However, when we are selfish in thoughts and acts, we are separate from “god”.
To not forgive is to allow the “self” to be psychologically central and, thereby, disallow the condition of oneness with “god” (which is our true nature).
Posted by: z-bob | November 14, 2007 12:39 PM
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WHY?
Posted by: Janice | November 14, 2007 10:02 AM
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The comments to this entry are closed.
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"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blol owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"our comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
"Your comment has been received and held for approval by the blog owner"
VOTE:
'NO' to News-Papers Company's owning {your Kids minds future & yours too] against them owning T.V Stations & Satellite Station!
SAY: 'NO' , via F.C.C., to News Paper Company's! 'NO' Broad Casting! Say or Vote, No!
And, Say 'NO' to allowing Religious Satellite Televangelical(s) to broadcast their 'EVIL' Anti-Society Story's & Behavior's too!
Thanks, Eclati-On (nevr Off's) American Mon's & Monsa's!
Take Back your almost Hijacked Nation! Take back Sweet sweet America! Now!