Church is pro-family, not anti-sex

It is certainly true that my religion sets forth teachings on sexuality that some find controversial. According to its critics, the Roman Catholic Church is obsessed with sexuality - or rather with trying to suppress it. Drawing on scripture and tradition, the Catholic Church instructs us that sexual intercourse is reserved for the bond of a married man and woman. The couple is to be monogamous, and they should be open to the possibility of new life (pregnancy). Pre-marital or extra-marital sex is a sin. Divorce is prohibited.

This view of sex and sexuality often runs counter to the popular culture which, at the very least, tends to treat pre-marital sex between consenting adults as common and acceptable. Catholic teachings on contraception and divorce are reportedly rejected by large numbers of those in the faith.

Realizing that one's personal life falls short of what the church expects can be difficult, and everyone tends to resent an authority that is perceived as placing restrictions on liberty. Of course, if one accepts the moral authority of a church, one must expect that the church will identify some conduct as immoral - even the private conduct of consenting adults. Moreover, a church does not really restrict freedom; it merely teaches that certain things are appropriate or are sinful. Individuals then make decisions as to their conduct.

What I have observed with Catholics who take their religion seriously is that these rules seem to lead to secure family bonds. Children are born in wedlock, spouses are secure in their relationships, and families tend to stay together. There are always exceptions, but rules that lead to more stability and security in family bonds strike me as pretty good things. (I speak here of the rules of a faith, not laws mandated by the government.)

When I grew up, I don't think any of my close friend's parents got divorced. I had one friend who lived with his mother and a sister. There had apparently been a divorce, but it happened before I met him. I never had to watch up-close as a family was pulled apart. My children, in contrast, have seen lots of their friends' parents get divorced.

I remember when my oldest daughter was about 10. She was very sad about her friend's situation. Leaning against our kitchen wall, she whispered: "I hate divorce." I'm not sure I knew about divorce at age 10. I had to reassure my daughter about her mother and me, and I was able to talk about our faith and the Catholic position on divorce. It was important to her to know that we had a religious objection to divorce.

Yes, I know that Catholics do practice contraception, get divorced, and that the Church grants many annulments. The Church also has the sacrament of Reconciliation (confession) which can be used when other sins (sexual or not) are committed. Failure - even by many - to live up to a standard is not, however, a reason to reject the standard.

The Catholic Church asks its adherents to live up to very high standards. As my children grow into adulthood, I hope that they will take their church's teachings seriously and do their best to meet those standards.

By Ronald Rychlak | April 26, 2010; 12:39 PM ET Save & Share:
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