Faith in family
My husband Ben Bradlee and my son Quinn Bradlee have just published a book. It is called "A Life's Work Fathers and Sons". It also has observations by me. It is about how the two of them bonded with each other while Quinn was growing up. Quinn was born with a hole in his heart and many other medical problems as well as seriously learning disabled. At first I was afraid that those problems would prevent him from having any real relationship with his father, a bright, athletic overachiever.
(Read an excerpt from "A Life's Work")

I needn't have worried. They found a way themselves; in the woods, spending time alone, chopping logs, clearing vines, and burning big fires. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they were silent, but whatever they did was magical. Ben is now nearly 89 and Quinn just turned 28. The two of them have the closest relationship I have ever seen between a father and son.
I grew up in the military. My father was in the Army and we never lived one place for longer than a year and a half. My father was Episcopalian, my mother Presbyterian, but we really had no religious upbringing. Occasionally we would go to a non-denominational Army chapel but it wasn't very inspiring. Our real religion was our family and our closeness to each other. Moving around so often, we were all we had. (Even though my father was away at war twice for several years).
When Quinn was born, Ben, an Episcopalian, and I never really made religion a priority with him. I had become an atheist at age six, though I didn't know the word for it then. Ben was non-practicing. My parents read him Bible stories and taught him the basics of religion, but on the weekends we went to the country instead of to church or Sunday School. At first we went to a log cabin in the mountains of West Virginia, then to a farm on the water in Southern Maryland surrounded by woods. It was in those places, but particularly at the farm, where the two of them really forged their relationship. Weekends were our times to be together. On Sundays our chapel was outside or sitting by a cozy fire in the winter. Most often it was just the three of us.
I didn't know much about religion when I began moderating "On Faith" three-and-a-half years ago. As I began to study it, the most appealing features of most religions were those of familial closeness. So much of religion is based on the sacredness of the family. It is part of all cultures, societies, communities. It seemed to me that we were practicing that religion without even knowing it.
Being together was our number one priority. I am never happier than when I am alone with "my two best guys." Being together kept us going through much adversity when Quinn was sick for so long in his early life.
Whatever our beliefs or non-beliefs, it is crucial that we believe in each other. That gives us the strength and sustenance to weather anything.
Could family be called a religion? Could the relationship between a father and his son or a mother and her son be called spiritual? All I can say is that because of them I am no longer an atheist. All of those years we spent with each other while Quinn was growing up really gave me a look at what the divine could be.
The love of a parent for a child. The love of a child for a parent. Family.
(You can read more about Quinn at his Web site: Friends of Quinn.)
By
Sally Quinn
|
May 20, 2010; 1:05 PM ET
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Posted by: mwpalmer | May 18, 2010 3:52 PM
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Based on the Wikipedia bio, Sally Bradlee's story to date would have made a better book :
Some excerpts:
"Controversies
Bill Clinton
Quinn was critical of President Bill Clinton during the impeachment trial, stating that he had "fouled the nest"[5]. Quinn had a long-standing animus for the Clintons, possibly due to a perceived snub by First Lady Hillary Clinton, who declined a party invitation from Quinn.[6] Regarding Whitewater independent counsel Ken Starr, she wrote:[5] "Similarly, independent counsel Ken Starr is not seen by many Washington insiders as an out-of-control prudish crusader.
Starr is a Washington insider, too. He has lived and worked here for years. He had a reputation as a fair and honest judge. He has many friends in both parties. Their wives are friendly with one another and their children go to the same schools." Starr had won the gratitude of Quinn's husband Ben Bradlee in 1987, as an Appeals Court judge, by dismissing a $2 million libel suit against the Washington Post.[7] Harry Jaffe wrote in Salon that Quinn's condemnation of Bill Clinton's adultery rang hollow coming from someone who broke up the marriage of her boss Ben Bradlee and then went on to marry Bradlee herself.[6]
Liberal criticism and origin of "The Village"
Sally Quinn is heavily and regularly criticized by liberal bloggers and commentators (Digby, Wonkette, Gawker, Media Matters) for her role as a Washington socialite. The ridicule is due in large part to Quinn's feud with the Clintons. In Quinn's "foul the nest" column[5], influential members of the Washington political establishment expressed their displeasure with President Clinton for sullying Washington D.C., which they refer to as their "village", "town" or "community."[5] In the liberal blogosphere, "The Village" is recognized as satirical shorthand. Digby explains: [8]
Greg [Sargent] is right that ["The Village"] stems from the notorious Sally Quinn article about the Clintons.[5] But it's more than that. It's shorthand for the permanent DC ruling class who have managed to convince themselves that they are simple, puritanical, bourgeois burghers and farmers, even though they are actually celebrity millionaires influencing the most powerful government on earth. It's about their phoniness, their pretense of speaking for "average Americans" when it's clear they haven't the vaguest clue even about the average Americans who work in their local Starbucks or drive their cabs.
It's about their intolerable sanctimony and hypocritical provincialism, pretending to be shocked about things they all do, creating social rules for others which they themselves ignore."
Posted by: YEAL9 | May 18, 2010 12:59 PM
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I enjoyed the piece and it's peace. Thank you for sharing.
Posted by: alltheroadrunnin | May 18, 2010 8:48 AM
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"Family" is not a religion. Those who have "family" (and I think you three do) don't need religion. In fact, religion can and often does interfere with "family." And certainly religion can and does cause strife within families. When it is said that the Chinese "worship" their ancestors, it is an inaccuracy although it does reflect what the Chinese culture based on Confucius is all about. It is about "family" and that is truly divine.
Posted by: qrsi | May 18, 2010 3:11 AM
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How is Sally Quinn a moderator of ON FAITH?
Oh, she married the editor of WaPo and broke up his first marriage.
How is Meecham a Moderator and editor of Newsweek?
Oh, Newsweek is going under.
Where are all the intelligent people in America?
Oh, Wall Street.
Where are all the moral and intelligent people in America?
Posted by: clearthinking1 | May 18, 2010 1:34 AM
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I'm glad you shared you spiritual happiness with us reader, but please don't called a religion. History is a very good teacher and it tells me that all religions are mem/women made for many completely different reasons, often selfish reasons and it's impossible to draw a clear line between a cult, a fraudulent scheme and a religion. Glad you are spiritually happy Sally, but please don't called a religion.
Posted by: ThishowIseeit | May 17, 2010 5:07 PM
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Couldn't this ditty just as easily be part of a series, "Confessions of a Lifelong Narcissist".
Posted by: kieran2001 | May 17, 2010 4:27 PM
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Just like the why I didn't go to the wedding article some weeks ago ... why should we care?
Posted by: susa1 | May 17, 2010 3:34 PM
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I was happy to hear that all is well with you and your family. I was also happy to hear that you are acknowledging "something" beyond the notion of no god at all. You didn't; however, share where you are now except to say its at "family". Where are you now?
Posted by: safiyah111 | May 17, 2010 1:52 PM
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Would love to get the name of whoever did the airbrush work on Quinn's photo. She is like our own little local Leona Helmsley!
Posted by: ManOpener | May 17, 2010 1:02 PM
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Clearly Sally Quinn you once had faith in the power of scotch to loosen up old guys!
Posted by: ManOpener | May 17, 2010 1:00 PM
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Sorry, Sally, but your celebrations of faith strikes me like the opening of the book of Job.
Marrying well covers a lot of shortcomings.
Posted by: WmarkW | May 17, 2010 12:57 PM
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Connecting to the rhythm of the Universe, and life's inherent mirror of that, is spiritual and family is the easiest connector to that mystic law.
IMHO, it is true but not sufficient. Using self validating feelings has its limitations.
Posted by: edbyronadams | May 17, 2010 12:02 PM
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A beautiful article. Makes me realize there is some divine presence in this world, in spite of the horror of the fighting n
Afganistan.
Ems
Posted by: eileenms | May 17, 2010 11:31 AM
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Most likely the bond was rooted in presenting a united front of defense against domestic tyranny. Poor Quinn didn't have much of a chance since the die was cast for him in utero. For Ben it was, I'm sure, a much regretted mistake that cost him his legacy.
According to the website of the Lucile Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford fetal alcohol syndrome is associated with the chromosome deletion which causes velo-cardio-facial syndrome.
The Post has been much better without Quinn so now that she has gotten the chance to flack this book please send her back to St. Mary's. Theological scholarship in the Washington area is broad and deep. There is no need to perpetuate a fraud.
Posted by: SoCali | May 17, 2010 11:27 AM
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My Dearest Sally:
"Fox Holes" come many shapes and origins, but the bromide "There are no atheists in fox holes." still engenders deep thought.
Posted by: dz4law | May 17, 2010 10:57 AM
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Seems like much more of a grandfather-grandson bonding than anything else.
What qualifies Sally "I became an atheist at age six" to write On Faith?
Posted by: summerandwinter | May 17, 2010 10:12 AM
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Sally,
I just finished reading "A Different Life" last night and was really moved by Quinn's writing and his great attitude. Best of luck to your adorable son now and in the future. I know how hard it must have been for you as you watched him battle one illness after another. You and Ben are very strong parents. Quinn was blessed to be your son.
Posted by: callmemama | May 17, 2010 10:02 AM
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You became an atheist at age six, Sally? Really?
I think you just had an important moment of individuation from your parents.
Your childhood magical thinking didn't end then. It continues today.
Posted by: tojby_2000 | May 17, 2010 9:58 AM
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Such pompous religious drivel from Sally. Personally, I thank the anti-christ every day for all the good things in my life.
Posted by: algonquin2121 | May 17, 2010 9:34 AM
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It is a shame that whenever people experience something they feel transcends their daily grind, they tend to link it to religion and some god.
Why can't you celebrate the wonder and beauty of the universe without spoiling it? Why do you have to link it to a man-made concept whose #1 purpose was to give its wielders a tool with which to accumulate power over others?
"It is necessary for salvation for every human creature to be subject to the Roman Pontiff." - Pope Boniface VII
Posted by: bpai_99 | May 16, 2010 5:49 PM
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Talking about Family; I saw an article claiming that "Newsweek" is up for sale. Is that true?
{Jon Meacham, rounding-up investors}
http://www.observer.com/2010/media/meacham-buying-newsweek-im-going-take-look
and
{We've Had It Backwards}
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0510/36856.html
--
Question: What will happen to this 'onfaith'one of a kind blog?
Posted by: fork-tongue | May 15, 2010 8:52 AM
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At least You're not Divorced. Now thats a Family.
Posted by: fork-tongue | May 15, 2010 8:10 AM
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Certainly, this article is a recognition of the sublime beauty of family, especially when it works as God intends, but there is more. Note the Malachi prophecy in the Old Testament:
Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord:
And he will turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.
(Malachi 4:5-6) http://scriptures.lds.org/en/mal/4
Religion is about binding and salvation. When family members work together for each others well-being, it is indeed the work of religion. When family members are emotionally tied together in love, it is the essence of spirituality. Absent these things, life is a curse. A successful earthly family is as much like the divine as anything that can be devised by men. A failed family is torment.
And though men have devised a multitude of religions, resembling divinity to varying degrees, I believe there is one divine religion that is God-given. At its heart is family. It has the power to save God's children and bind them to Him forever -- if they will. Of course, that is what Jesus Christ is about. It is His church that proffers true religion.
Ancillary to establishing God's family is the possibility of binding present families together for eternity. After all, what good would the divine experiences we have in our families now be if we could not enjoy them after this life? How meaningful would the relationships we forge now be if death could deprive us of them forever? God intends for us to be happy in this life and forever. Families are part of that plan.
http://mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/basic-beliefs/membership-in-christ-s-church/forever-families