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Why I'm praying for Christopher Hitchens
By Sally Quinn
I'm praying for Christopher Hitchens. He has stage four esophageal cancer. Christopher doesn't believe in prayer. He is an atheist.
My prayers for him are not petitionary prayers. Why should God spare Christopher just because people are praying for him? Billions of people on earth pray to God every day and it doesn't save them. If God didn't want Christopher to die, then why would he have given him cancer? Why would he listen to those who are praying for him? Philosopher Immanuel Kant dismissed prayer as "a superstitious illusion (a fetish-making), for it is no more than a stated wish directed to a Being who needs no such information regarding the inner disposition of the wisher; therefore nothing is accomplished by it."
Well, yes and no.
Even for those who beseech God for favors, prayer is about much more than the favors. Prayer is about a need to control one's life. It is about wanting to be a part of something. It is about wishing for the seemingly unattainable, grasping for magic, yearning for the transcendent. It is about imagining what could be, hoping for the best, desiring a glimpse of the divine.
Mostly though, prayer is about those who are doing the praying rather than those they are praying for.
When someone is sick it makes us feel helpless. What can we do? Bring casseroles? Send flowers? (Or in Christopher's case a good bottle of wine.) It never feels like enough. We must do more. We are so frightened by the illness. So threatened by it and therefore by the sick person. We feel so alone. Our first thoughts are, "That could be me." No matter how much we love the person who has been struck, we cannot help but think of ourselves. For those who are religious, prayer is a solace. It gives one a sense of power. If you believe in a God who will answer prayers, then you believe that you might actually be able to make a difference. There is a huge consolation in that.
What Christopher should understand is that for those who are praying for him, to somebody or nobody, it is not necessarily about asking God to save him. It is not an insult. They are giving him the greatest gift they can, no matter what form it takes. (I'm not talking here about those who pray that he will renounce his atheism to save his soul or those who pray he will go to hell.)
In their book, "Prayer: A History", Philip and Carol Zaleski talk about the powerful Navajo healing prayer which often goes on for nine days. "Navajo healing prayer is therefore not an oversized aspirin pill or a private regimen of self enhancement," they write. "It is a highly disciplined communal work of cosmic repair."
They say that the "sacrifice and its effects radiate out in ever widening circles, not only healing the patient but also bringing blessings for the participants, family, clan and
nation.....Whether or not the patient improves, the ceremony has overcome isolation and reaffirmed the coherence and meaning underlying Navajo culture."
When I pray for Christopher I feel part of something larger, a community of people who love him, all of us trying to deal with his illness in our own ways. When I pray for Christopher, I am reminded of the Jewish greeting at Yom Kippur, "May you have an easy fast." I wish him an easy time. When I pray for Christopher, I long for him to be able to, as he told me, "die with as much wit and style as possible." When I pray for Christopher I pray that his family is comforted by the many people who wish him well. When I pray for Christopher I hold an image of him in my mind, eating a great meal, drinking a wonderful wine, surrounded by people whose conversations will excite and engage him. When I pray for Christopher, I feel that, despite what Kant says, something indeed has been accomplished.
When I pray for Christopher I can't think of a better prayer than the Navajo healing prayer:
With beauty before me, I walk.
With beauty behind me, I walk,
With beauty below me, I walk,
With beauty above me, I walk.
With beauty all around me, I walk.
It is finished (again) in beauty.
It is finished in beauty.
It is finished in beauty.
It is finished in beauty.
More On Faith:
NIH's Francis Collins: Why I pray for my friend
Archbold: Prayer for Hitchens is an act of love
Rabbi David Wolpe: Hitchens lives for debate
Daniel Dennett: Thank goodness for Christopher Hitchens!
By
Sally Quinn
|
September 24, 2010; 12:44 PM ET
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Posted by: ralphcherry | October 1, 2010 9:38 AM
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Sally,
Would you pray for someone if they said, "Don't pray for me?" If you would, then you do not understand just how aggressive your religion is in the lives of those who seek to be free of it.
Your insistence on praying for/about non-believers, though harmless in reality, says much about you and reveals an inability to understand the basic desires of the non-believers for whom you pray.
You don't get it. Yes, you're being nice, but you just don't get the big picture. You don't get it.
Sincerely,
Ed Carroll
Posted by: sketto | September 28, 2010 2:36 PM
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What Christopher should understand is that for those who are praying for him, to somebody or nobody, it is not necessarily about asking God to save him. It is not an insult. They are giving him the greatest gift they can, no matter what form it takes.
Do you give people unpleasant sweaters for Christmas as well?
Seriously, Sally, this sort of thing is helpful only to yourself which, to be fair, you come very close to admitting.
Why not try imagining yourself on the receiving end of such egocentric concern, and then assess whether you are, in truth, giving any form of gift. Failing that, how about a reread of Matthew 6: 5-6?
Posted by: corylus78 | September 26, 2010 6:19 AM
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Excellent. Does this apply more generally? Can I just pray about all the problems happening in the world and then get on with my own selfish little life too? No more charity donations, no more recycling, no more trying to think of a way to make a difference ... how much easier life must be. No more worrying about anything but me.
Michael
Posted by: mmurray1957 | September 26, 2010 6:02 AM
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If prayer is giving the greatest gift one can give...
It means that donation to cancer research isn't as good...
Think about it...
Posted by: severalspeciesof | September 25, 2010 6:30 PM
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"They are giving him the greatest gift they can, no matter what form it takes."
Prayer, how to do nothing and still pretend you are helping. As others have said, make a donation to a cancer research charity, it will be far more effective and really show you care.
Posted by: Epeeist | September 25, 2010 4:35 PM
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So, you realize that prayer has no effect (except, Navajo prayer, which a couple of people who wrote a book say heals the patient - I'd like to see the article in JAMA on that!) but it makes you feel better. Thanks for sharing. Making a donation to cancer research to make yourself feel better, and then telling the world about it would be one thing, expending energy to accomplish absolutely nothing except making yourself feel better and telling the world about THAT seems a little narcissistic.
Posted by: Caudimordax | September 25, 2010 4:21 PM
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Sending your best wishes to Christopher Hitchens in the form of making a donation to cancer research in his name, will mean more to him and do more actual good for everyone, than any prayer.
Posted by: Quine | September 25, 2010 2:47 PM
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So, if I understand you correctly, you are praying not for Mr. Hitchens, but for yourself, because moments like this expose the deeper truth: Any "power" you thought you wielded in the past was a fantasy. You are helpless and are using prayer to regain the illusion of control.
And as for those "other people" praying.... they don't count, right?
Hope it works for you. Truly.
Posted by: lynnwriter | September 25, 2010 12:50 PM
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Sally,
As I read your piece on why you're praying for Christopher Hitchens, I felt you captured the real essence of prayer. It brought me to tears in its eloquence and simplicity. I can only hope that Christopher is moved by it and begins to see that prayer is not meant to be just some superstitious incantation. It is an expresssion of love, hope and solidarity for those we care about. I'm praying for him, too.
Posted by: meaj3 | September 24, 2010 8:32 PM
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I understand the reaction that the praying really is for Sally herself and not for Christopher--the observation occurred to me, as well, as I read the piece. Still, I admired it for that very honesty. As an on-the-fence agnostic I have never understood prayer as anything but a human invention, as is religion itself. This helped me understand why many people whom I love, and who have suffered, do it.