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Why I want to believe in Christmas
I love Christmas.
I have always loved Christmas. I love the trees and the lights and the ornaments and the wreaths, the holly, the mistletoe. I love the beautiful Christmas carols and the really tacky ones. I love wearing red and green. I love giving and receiving presents. I love Christmas parties, and eggnog and eating too much and having a glass too many of wine. I love the cold weather and the warm fires. There is nothing that pleases me more than having friends over to share a meal, reading Christmas poems and making wishes. My Christmas tree is hung with hundreds of angels my mother collected over the years on our travels around the world. I believed wholeheartedly in Santa and when I gradually came to realize he was a mythical character I still believed in the idea of him. My family always celebrated with a little skit by my brother and sister and me on Christmas Eve.. We did "The Little Match Girl " and then we were allowed to open one present. I didn't want to open more. I wanted to wait for Santa. I wanted to leave milk and cookies and a note for Santa. I wanted to wake up at 3 a.m. and listen for the hooves of reindeer on my roof. I wanted to quiver with anticipation as I waited to rush downstairs at dawn to wake my parents. I wanted to walk into the living room in my bathrobe, with a crackling fire and the tree lit up and be transported by opening a box with my new doll in it. How did Santa always know to get me the perfect doll? Santa always ate the cookies, leaving a few crumbs, drank his milk and left a wonderful note about how good we had been all year. It made me believe in magic.
Which brings me to Christ. When I was very little I believed in Jesus Christ. I believed the whole story of the Virgin Mary and Joseph and the three wise men and Jesus being born in the manger in Bethlehem. I prayed to the baby Jesus. My parents were not particularly religious but we did have a little crèche as part of our decorations and they read us bible stories. To me that was as exciting and magical, if not as accessible, as Santa. When I stopped believing in God at age 6, much to my parents dismay, I also stopped believing that Jesus was the son of God. I came to believe that he was, as was Santa, a mythical person, though he may well have existed. But I never really stopped believing in him as a magical person.
I loved the Christ part of Christmas as much as I loved the Santa part. I still do. I've never tried to analyzed it. How could an atheist love the Christ in Christmas?
One Christmas in Greece, when I was 13 and no longer believed in Santa Claus, I woke up at 3 and sat looking out of my window at the mountains surrounding Athens. There was a bright shining star in the East. I sat shivering at the notion that there might actually be something to the story about Christ. I dismissed it, of course. It couldn't possibly be true. There was so much, too, that I began to loathe about the Christmas season.
I used to hate the proselytizing. I hated the idea that Christmas was shoved down our throats. I hated the notion that this was a "Christian nation," that non-Christians were second-class citizens. I certainly hated the idea that so much evil had been done in the name of Christianity. I was against displaying nativity scenes or any religious symbols on government property. I still am. Some communities have begun a practice of having displays of all faiths and no faiths. But who's to decide what is a legitimate belief or faith? In the end it seems farcical and a bit ridiculous. The whole argument about Happy Holiday vs Merry Christmas is silly. If stores want to advertise with "Merry Christmas," they are private places. You don't have to shop there if you are offended, one way or the other. I say Merry Christmas to those friends I know celebrate Christmas. I say Happy Holidays to those who don't or I'm not sure about. We all get a holiday this time of year anyway, both at Christmas and New Years. What's the competition all about? Why so much rancor? Why can't people display their faiths or objections to faith on private property? Why must one faith be imposed on a whole nation? It all seems so contradictory.
Why do people get so hysterical about an image of a baby or a fat man with a white beard and red suit? You either believe it or you don't. There's nothing to be angry about. I'm happy when I see a menorah on somebody's desk at work or in the airport during Hanukkah. A Christmas tree is just a tree with lights and ornaments. It originally had nothing to do with Christmas. Santa Claus originated in Turkey. The winter solstice, which falls on Dec. 21 and is the shortest day of the year is a pagan holiday. Christ wasn't even born on Christmas Day. Why can't this time of year be celebrated by everyone as a festival of lights to brighten up the darkest days?
I have a Jewish friend who is married to a gentile. When her daughter was two she was in tears over the prospect of putting up a Christmas tree. Her husband was adamant. Finally I said to her, "It's just a tree. It's not as if he's asking you to put a crucifix on the living room wall." She put up the tree. She said it looked beautiful. Everyone was happy. They celebrate the Jewish holidays as well.
I'm no longer an atheist. Don't ask what I call myself. It's not necessarily that my beliefs have changed. It's more that my perspective on my beliefs has. My feelings are so personal and private that I would be hard pressed to explain them. The question is, why do I love Christmas and everything about it so much? Why is it so important to me at this time of year to be surrounded by my family and my friends? Why do I feel the need to share this special time of year? Why do I still want to believe in Santa Claus and the Baby Jesus being the son of God? What I do know is this. I want to believe in the transcendant. I want to believe in the miraculous. I want to experience the divine. I have a deep yearning for something beyond myself.
On Christmas Eve my family has begun to go to the service at National Cathedral. It is a beautiful, majestic place with soaring spires that seem to be reaching up to the sky, almost beseeching. The service is lovely and peaceful. Candles are everywhere. Communion is offered. Those who don't want to receive it are asked to put their hands over their hearts for a blessing by the priest. I used to be appalled at the idea of holy communion. Now I see how it gives so many people solace. I choose instead to take the blessing. At the end, the lights are lowered even more for the singing of Silent Night. A sense of the sacred is overwhelming. We come home to a candlelight dinner with champagne and a few close friends. We throw holly in the fire and make wishes for the New Year. I feel a sense of the sacred there too.
At Thanksgiving I feel gratitude. At Christmas I feel love and at the New Year I feel hope. It is the rituals of these holidays that give me those feelings. It is the symbol of Santa that makes me feel loved, perhaps because I grew up with that. It is the symbol of Jesus, the birth of a child, that is a symbol of hope and better things to come, that is compelling to me. It is a symbol of both of them that combines the feeling of joy I have come to anticipate during the Christmas Season. And I am never disappointed. Perhaps it is because, on some level, I always feel, no matter what I really believe, that I have gotten a glimpse of the divine.
By
Sally Quinn
|
December 24, 2010; 5:09 PM ET
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Posted by: haveaheart | December 28, 2010 12:19 AM
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Such self-absorbed drivel. It's especially galling that the Post's "On Faith" commentary is produced and directed by a self-admitted atheist whose perspective is mostly herself whenever she writes. The Post does an excellent job of "dissing" anyone who adheres to a religious belief system -- especially Christian -- and ridiculing the belief systems themselves. Dump her, and do it soon.
Posted by: bkalik9238 | December 27, 2010 10:12 AM
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" If stores want to advertise with "Merry Christmas," they are private places. You don't have to shop there if you are offended, one way or the other."
I have never seen a news report nor heard commentary of someone offended by a store advertising with "Merry Christmas". "Happy Holidays", on the other hand, seems to be a source of great consternation for highly visible, easily outraged few. Perhaps Ms Quinn is not paying attention. Not that that should interfere with her pontificating in any way.
Posted by: zukermand | December 27, 2010 9:45 AM
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Huh???? you say:
"I'm no longer an atheist. Don't ask what I call myself. It's not necessarily that my beliefs have changed....."
You say your beliefs have not changed (from not believing in God and Jesus since age 6) but now you are no longer an atheist? What is this equivocation? Why do you avoid the word atheist? What part of an atheist are you NOT? It seems a weakness and a failure for a writer like you to admit not knowing what "I call myself." Please elaborate on this. I am very curious to understand someone who thinks about this a lot. What do you mean to say.
Posted by: slowe111 | December 27, 2010 8:55 AM
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I don't follow this site or Ms. Quinn "religiously" (wink) so, I am wondering if this is her first admission of being an atheist or was this well known already? Since when? Anyway, Sally, welcome to the club from a fellow atheist (Humanist). Thanks for managing this web site and promoting more discussions and conversations about this topic. Hoping this will help humanity evolve away from primitive ideas and beliefs that may have served us well in the past but deserve to be put away, even honored perhaps, but put behind us as we seek and find inspiration and explanations elsewhere - like in science and in contemplating our own potential as a successful species in the grand universe. Dream on and upwords.
Posted by: slowe111 | December 27, 2010 8:35 AM
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My New Years resolution will be to set aside and ignore intolerant theocons who want to fight with me over, of all things, Christmas.
I will believe in the parts of Christmas I want to believe in and will not let some bully exploiting the name of poor old Jesus stop me.
Posted by: areyousaying | December 26, 2010 4:34 PM
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Ooooppsssa Daisy, Had too much Wine.
CHEERS! La CHAiM! SLANCHi! Na ZDAROViA! ...
Posted by: Future-Bound | December 26, 2010 11:27 AM
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Like the "FREEDOM" to NOt to have to "SWEAR" to an ANY-Oath but instead have the-Option to "ATTEST" or "AFFIRM" to some such Document or Person via ones pledge/Loyalty or Notary THAT
YOur Nice and candid message, saying, ... "BLESSiNG" with 'Hand-Over HEART'... instead of ritualizing in the "COMMUNION" tells i that "SECULARANiTY" is YE/YO religion and that now "in "IT" [WE]YO Trust', instead of that ole song "IN GOD WE TRUST" even though still printed/Quoted on all of the Mighty U.S. 'Mighty's Dollar-Bill(s). Soo,
Thank "IT" for Choices? AND
so, i[WE] would also like to compliment YOu all (WAPO CO. et al) with a Pre-Post (Bit-n-Bytes) GIFT; Especially to YE/YO 'JUISH' Freunds et al:
=
...
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………._♥♥♥♥♥_____♥♥♥♥♥♥
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………._♥♥♥♥♥______♥♥♥♥♥
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.......................... _|_.
.......................... \_./
...
..
.
PEACE,PAZ,SHALOM,SALAAM,AHIMSA,MIR, ZHINGYU....
.
.
Credits "JJ" http://onwapo.wordpress.com/
By "JJ" "A Star Of David Bigger Than-Life." AND SALLY QUiNN:
Huggs-n-a-Kiss's TO: ALL da Brothers & da Sisters! AND
THANKS FOR HELPING CHILDREN w/CLEFT LIPS. ALL of Those "KIDS" need YOU, not only Uncle-Sam & Aunt Liberty!
Please See:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleft_lip_and_palate
YOu et al art truly, in essence, really blessed. Soo, SHiLOM!
__
PS: As an Ex-"iJEWISH, but still a "SABRA"-ite (born In Israel) bat HEART and eventhough i[WE] never did,except whe i[[WE] was spematazooni's, did-NOt ask >a>"IT" (NOt a HE nor a SHE) to Born US in IT's MIRACLE Holy-i Motion, and contrary to any "BORN in SIN or Curs'th..." lalala Biblio storys) THAT
WE[i] Thank Mr. "RUPERT MURDOCH (Prez Of NEWSCOR//PWAPO et al.
Please see this Wonderful & Sincere Letter/Posted that He posted on "JERUPOST" (One of YeYo Sister/Brother Sites) entitled:
"THE WAR AGAiNST THE JEWS" of Whom Rabbi JezUS {pbuh et al} is of.
http://www.jpost.com/Opinion/Op-EdContributors/Article.aspx?id=191899
Note: Even JEWS, During Prayer, Pound Their Hearts/Torso's in effigy when Praying or when dovitting (saluting while Standing or sitting yet mystically swaying) to "IT."
Posted by: Future-Bound | December 26, 2010 10:04 AM
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My faith has never been in Christmas. My faith is in Jesus himself.
Posted by: joe_allen_doty | December 25, 2010 2:42 PM
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"My feelings are so personal and private that I would be hard pressed to explain them."
Good God, Sally. You just devoted seven paragraphs to explaining your feelings!
How can you have any more to say?