Patheos/On Faith

Why I Remain a Catholic

By Elizabeth Scalia
Catholic Portal Manager, Patheos.com, and First Things Blogger

The question has come my way several times in the past week: "How do you maintain your faith in light of news stories that bring light to the dark places that exist within your church?"

When have darkness and light been anything but co-existent? How do we recognize either without the other?

Here's why I remain a Catholic.

I remain within, and love, the Catholic Church because it is a church that has lived and wrestled within the mystery of the shadow lands ever since an innocent man was arrested, sentenced, and crucified, while the keeper of "the keys" denied him, and his first priests ran away. Through 2,000 imperfect -- sometimes glorious, sometimes heinous -- years, the church has contemplated and manifested the truth that dark and light, innocence and guilt, justice and injustice all share a kinship, one that waves back and forth like wind-stirred wheat in a field, churning toward something -- as yet -- unknowable.

The darkness within my church is real, and it has too often gone unaddressed. The light within my church is also real, and has too often gone unappreciated. A small minority has sinned, gravely, against too many. Another minority has assisted or saved the lives of millions.

But then, my country is the most generous and compassionate nation on Earth; it is also the only country that has ever deployed nuclear weapons of mass destruction.

My government is founded upon a singular appreciation of personal liberty; some of those founders owned slaves.

My family was known for its neighborliness and its work ethic; its patriarch was a serial child molester.

The child molester was also a brilliant, generous, talented man -- the only person who ever read me a bedtime story. I will love him forever for that, even when I wake up gasping and afraid.

I am a woman with very generous instincts, and I try to love everyone, but I am capable of corrosive scorn. Have I been much sinned against? Yes. So have you. Have I sinned against others? Oh, yes. So have you.

Like a pebble cast into a pond, our every action ripples out toward the edges, reaching farther than we intended, touching what we do not even know, for good and for ill. It all either means nothing, or it means everything.

As a Catholic, I believe it means everything.

That doesn't mean I do not suffer for the sins of my church; we people in the pews are roiling with feelings of betrayal, shame, revulsion.

Having survived sexual abuse in the family and the public schools, I identify deeply with the pain, the sense of powerlessness and abandonment that the victims of some of our priests and administers have endured. I grieve for them -- and for my church, and for my pope, and for all of the countless good priests and religious who are tarnished by the actions of a depraved minority.

I am saddened beyond words to know that these very real sins of commission and omission will repel people, who will miss the consolations of the church in light, out of concern for its shadows.

But the painful and incomplete news stories that have dominated this Holy Week helpfully illustrate how and why I am able to continue on in faith. Particularly during the Easter Triduum, we are thrust deeply into the crucifixion narrative of the Gospels. There, on the wood of the cross, we encounter Jesus, son of Mary, who knew shame, betrayal, abandonment, scorn, jeering, ridicule, unimaginable pain and sorrow, and submitted to them, in order to draw us into a consoling embrace that says, "I know what you are feeling; I know what you are thinking. You tortured ones, you shamed ones, you innocent ones, you slandered ones; I am the One who knows, and we are actually all in this together, and quite outside of time."

I want my church to shine. But I understand that everything, from our institutions to our innermost beings, are seen through a glass, darkly. Arms outstretched, listening for the Word, and its echoing liturgy, I make my way forward, in bright hope.

Elizabeth Scalia is a weekly columnist at First Things Magazine (where she also blogs as The Anchoress), and the Catholic Portal manager at Patheos.com. This article was originally written for National Public Radio, during Holy Week of 2010.

By David Charles  |  September 21, 2010; 3:07 PM ET
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tojby_2000

You wrote, "You remain a Catholic for the same reason others cling to their faith traditions. You are a believer. It's genetic.

Twin studies have revealed the truth."

Seems as if it is only "genetic" for some but not all, doesn't it?

Do you suppose that there is a "Catholic gene" but they haven't discovered it yet or have they and I have not heard about it?

What about those that were not raised Catholic or any other branch of Christianity and then become Catholic?

Just what "truth" have these "twin studies" found?

Have you ever noticed that it seems very much to be a human thing to "group" others with one "label" or another and be blind to the fact that each one of these is an individual?

No one has to believe what another believes and no one even has to listen to what another has to say but unless one listens, one can not hear what another has to say.

There are both believers and non-believers that refuse to hear what another has to say because they seem to think that they already know what the person will say.

God gave us both reason and emotion, so many seem to reject one or the other rather than embracing both.

Even if one does not believe in God, we still have both reason and emotion.

We are also capable of rising above our base nature, of course some do not believe this at all.

There is more to us humans than meets the eye or the dissecting of our bodies as some who think that there is nothing beyond our physicality seem to believe.

Take care, be ready.

Sincerely, Thomas Paul Moses Baum.

Posted by: ThomasBaum | September 30, 2010 6:20 PM

You remain a Catholic for the same reason others cling to their faith traditions. You are a believer. It's genetic.
Twin studies have revealed the truth.

Posted by: tojby_2000 | September 29, 2010 12:21 AM

How many catholics are catholic for no reason other than that was the way that they where brought up even though they do not agree with the all parts RCC teachings of the ones that they know. Most catholics in the U.S.A. do not know the RCC true history, the church teachings, etc. They ought to read the PEW report in the Washington Post today and start asking questions. The administration of the RCC has done more damage to the RCC than anyone else in these times by their silenceing the truth to protect the image. It is time for a new pope and then Vatican III.

Posted by: usapdx | September 28, 2010 2:02 PM

DOING THE WORK OF THE NATION AND THE CHURCH, IOWA BISHOPS

Michael McGough, on September 7th wrote an article in the LA Times entitled Back to the Future for the Pope. Part of the pontiff’s future programs will ultimately be realized through the effectiveness of lay people, priests, religious sisters, deacons, diocesan Bishops and many others allied with the Church.

Recently, the Iowa Catholic conference, the official voice of the Catholic Church in that state spoke loudly and clearly through informational fliers on the subject of "Faithful Citizenship."This document is both present and futuristic in its outlook on responsible citizenship.

These fliers will be distributed in Catholic parishes across the state of Iowa this fall. They begin with a strong observation that "In the catholic tradition, responsible citizenship is a virtue; and participation in political life is a moral obligation.”
The flier concludes that a basic test of any policy is whether it supports or threatens human life and dignity. This implies for the decision making process that voters and their public officials must study the proposed policy carefully to determine if it is related to the common good. Obviously if the policy fails to meet that test it should be discarded.

The flier observes that every ten years Iowans can ask for a constitutional convention. At such a convention Catholics and others can work within the legal process to adopt an amendment to the state's constitution, affirming the traditional assumption that marriage is a union of one man and one woman.

As a voter and eventual office seeker I applaud, the diocesan bishops of Iowa; Dubuque Archbishop Jerome Hanus, OSB; Bishop R. Walker Nickless of Sioux City; Bishop Martin Amos of Davenport, and Bishop Richard Pates of Des Moines.

The conference is not endorsing any candidate but encouraging voters to be faithful citizens and full participants in political life. One can only hope that many other diocesan bishops across the nation will encourage similar involvement of their parishioners in faithful, responsible, citizenship. The diocesan bishops of Iowa are to be applauded for this initiative and flier.

Dr. Alan Phillips
Bloomington, IL

Posted by: ctw46 | September 27, 2010 4:47 PM

areyousaying

You wrote, "I really wonder if the "One who knows" has ever been a lonely, awkward Protestant boy growing up in intolerant Mormon Utah, invited by a friend to CYO and there befriended by a "kindly" priest who then groomed him, brutally raped him and was transferred to another parish to rape other little boys again while the Bishop and the DA looked the other way."

Did all Catholic priests do this to you?

What happened to you and to many others can never be made right, but to blame absolutely everyone that has anything to do with the Catholic Church is not right either, is it?

You then wrote, ""Christ's Church" indeed. If this is what your Christ is all about, I want no part of him."

Maybe this is why Jesus said, "Come follow Me" not His Church, the bible, other "followers" but to follow Him.

Gandhi said something very similar to what you said and I do not know the exact words but they were something like, "I like your Christ but I have a problems with your "Christians".

Jesus never said His Church would be perfect but He did say that "the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against It", this is the whole mission of Jesus's Church.

It is people who make up Jesus's Church, not necessarily those that think they are "members" of His Church and may very well include those that think that they are not "members" of His Church.

Take care, be ready.

Sincerely, Thomas Paul Moses Baum.

Posted by: ThomasBaum | September 25, 2010 11:39 AM

gladerunner

You wrote, "If god's perfect plan, that all will eventually sit at his side, is already a lock then what's the point of all this kneeling, praying and praising?"

Well, as far as "kneeling, praying and praising", I take this as what people would refer to as "worshipping" and I think of "worshipping" as a simple thank you for what will be.

By the way, hell and spiritual death are both real but Jesus won the "keys" to both and will use them in due time, God's Time, this seems to "upset" many, but as it says, "My (God's) Ways are not your ways and My Thoughts are not your thoughts".

And then you wrote, "And once we are at his side....what exactly will we be doing?"

I don't know.

You also asked, "More kneeling, praying and praising?"

I don't know.

You then asked, "THAT sounds like heaven?"

I don't know but I do look past heaven to the Kingdom.

Question: Before you were born, did you know anything at all about this life?

Question: Did you know anything at all?

So many try to give their "take" on heaven, why should I?

I don't know exactly what heaven will be like nor do I know exactly what the Kingdom will be like, most people's "take" on heaven seem to me to be not even worth going to when they try to put it into any sort of "concrete terms".

After meeting God, I trust that both heaven and the Kingdom will be beyond anyone's expectations and also that the GOOD NEWS is only Good News if it is for ALL to be there.

When it says that "God will declare VICTORY in favor of the holy ones", this means total victory, not a truce, not a tie, but total, not only for All of humanity but for All of creation.

As I have said before, I am just a messenger and I do not know the details and I do not need to know the details.

As Jesus said, "PROCLAIM THE GOOD NEWS".

See you and the rest of humanity in the Kingdom.

Take care, be ready.

Sincerely, Thomas Paul Moses Baum.

Posted by: ThomasBaum | September 25, 2010 11:21 AM

"God has a Plan and God's Plan will come to Fruition and God's Plan is for ALL to be in God's Kingdom ultimately, that is why it is called GOOD NEWS"


If god's perfect plan, that all will eventually sit at his side, is already a lock then what's the point of all this kneeling, praying and praising? And once we are at his side....what exactly will we be doing? More kneeling, praying and praising? THAT sounds like heaven?

Posted by: gladerunner | September 24, 2010 5:53 PM

Rongoklunk

You wrote, "Belonging to a specific religion in childhood means being hypnotized into believing that religion - come what may - no matter what, for all time.

How tragic."

Yes, I do find it rather tragic that you seem to have never gotten past the "religion" stage, you are not the only one.

I cherish my Catholic Faith and I don't look at it at all as a "religion".

There are those that do not consider me Catholic at all for various reasons, one of which is that I point out that Jesus invited us to "Come follow Me" not the bible, the church, other "followers" but to follow Him.

Have you ever noticed that you seem to do what some "religious" types do and that is to "group" together others rather than at least attempting to see each as an individual human being?

There are many things that I look at differently since I have met Who is referred to as God the Father and the Holy Spirit and since the Holy Spirit revealed to me that the Catholic Eucharist is Jesus and also meeting satan and experiencing hell and spiritual death.

It seems to me to be pretty obvious that many, both those that believe in God or that there is more than meets the eye, so to speak, and those that believe that this is all there is, will be quite shocked to find out that God is not the egotistical maniac that some seem to imagine God to be.

God has a Plan and God's Plan will come to Fruition and God's Plan is for ALL to be in God's Kingdom ultimately, that is why it is called GOOD NEWS.

Take care, be ready.

Sincerely, Thomas Paul Moses Baum.

Posted by: ThomasBaum | September 24, 2010 3:53 PM

While I sympathize with your plight - the main reason you're still a Catholic is because you have been a Catholic since childhood. If you had been a Mormon since childhood you'd continue to be a Mormon, and if you had been a Muslim since childhood you'd be wearing a veil today and be proud of it.

Most religious folk were indoctrinated into a particular religion as children - assuring that they will stay with that religion for life. Belonging to a specific religion in childhood means being hypnotized into believing that religion - come what may - no matter what, for all time.

How tragic.


Posted by: Rongoklunk | September 24, 2010 1:39 PM

"it is also the only country that has ever deployed nuclear weapons of mass destruction."
Okay, admittedly this is a small thing, but words have meanings.
'deploy' when used in reference to military issues means (Encarta): "to position troops, weapons, or resources in a specific area in readiness for action, or take up position in this way."

Several nations have 'deployed' nuclear weapons, I think she meant to say 'used'
I won't go into the redundancy of adding 'of mass destruction' after 'nuclear weapons'. That's kind of like saying 'automatic machine gun.'
Like I said it's a small thing...

Posted by: gladerunner | September 23, 2010 3:29 PM

I just read some absolute dribble.

Yawn.

Posted by: kenk3 | September 23, 2010 12:26 PM

I really wonder if the "One who knows" has ever been a lonely, awkward Protestant boy growing up in intolerant Mormon Utah, invited by a friend to CYO and there befriended by a "kindly" priest who then groomed him, brutally raped him and was transferred to another parish to rape other little boys again while the Bishop and the DA looked the other way.

Until you have experienced this first hand, you don't know jack _______.

"Christ's Church" indeed. If this is what your Christ is all about, I want no part of him.

Posted by: areyousaying | September 22, 2010 9:52 PM

All very well and good - now call for your Pope to hand over your know pedophile priests to civil authorities for prosecution if you want to have any credibility about wanting your church "to shine"

Right now, for the victims, it is an evil beacon of international organized racketeering and obstruction of justice.

Posted by: areyousaying | September 22, 2010 3:15 PM

Wow. No words.

Posted by: liee | September 21, 2010 8:07 PM

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